Sapphic = A gender-inclusive term, covering expands further than just women, opening the community to non binary people who are attracted to women.
When it comes to sexual health, all of us deserve information that’s clear, helpful, and free from shame. This is especially important for sapphic relationships, where the conversation around sexual health can sometimes feel underrepresented or confusing - in sex ed class and as an adult! Whether you're new to navigating sapphic relationships or you're looking to refresh your knowledge, here’s a guide to maintaining your sexual well-being that’s inclusive and straightforward.
Communication is Key
Let’s start with one of the most important aspects of any relationship: communication. Talking openly about desires, boundaries, and sexual health not only strengthens the bond but also ensures everyone involved feels safe and respected.
Before getting intimate, check in with each other about STI history, preferences, and comfort levels. It doesn’t need to be a heavy or awkward conversation—it’s just a normal part of being responsible with our bodies. Honesty and transparency create an atmosphere where both you and your partner(s) can enjoy a safe, pleasurable experience.
Understanding STI Transmission
It’s a common misconception that STIs aren’t a concern in sapphic relationships, but that’s not true. STIs can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, oral sex, sharing sex toys, and even through hand-to-genital contact if there are cuts or sores.
So, what can you do to reduce the risk? Here are a few tips:
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Barrier methods: Dental dams, latex gloves, and internal or external condoms can all help lower the chances of STI transmission. They may not be the first thing that comes to mind, but they’re an easy addition to your sexual routine. Newer products like My Lorals offer a more convenient alternative, providing protection without the hassle of handling traditional square dental dams.
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Regular testing: Getting tested for STIs regularly is an important part of sexual health. Check out our testing time guide here. Testing is normal, and it ensures everyone involved is taking care of their health.
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Hygiene: Simple steps like washing your hands before and after sex or cleaning sex toys between uses can go a long way. Many toys are made from porous materials that can harbor bacteria, so cleaning with an antibacterial toy cleaner or warm soapy water is essential.
Safe Use of Sex Toys
Speaking of toys, if you use them, keeping them clean is vital. If you’re sharing toys between partners, be sure to use condoms on the toys and change the condom if the toy switches between people or between different parts of the body.
Additionally, opt for toys made from non-porous materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel, as they’re easier to clean and more resistant to bacteria. This is an easy way to lower the risk of infection while keeping things fun.
Don’t Forget About Lube
Whether it’s for comfort or to enhance pleasure, lube can be a game-changer. There’s no shame in using it, and it can actually reduce the chance of microtears or irritation. When choosing a lube, be mindful of what you’re using with sex toys—water-based lubes are generally compatible with most materials, while silicone-based lubes should be avoided with silicone toys as they can degrade the material.
If you have sensitive skin, look for lubes without glycerin or parabens to avoid irritation.
Vaginal Health and Regular Checkups
Keeping up with routine health checks is essential. Regardless of your sexual orientation or relationship structure, staying up to date with your smear tests (if you have a cervix) are vital to detect early signs of issues like cervical cancer or other health concerns.
If you experience discomfort, unusual discharge, or other changes, don’t hesitate to talk to a healthcare provider. Your body’s signals are important, and there’s no need to feel embarrassed about getting them checked out.
Explore Your Pleasure Without Shame
Sexual health isn’t just about preventing STIs and maintaining physical wellness—it’s also about experiencing pleasure in a way that feels good for you. In sapphic relationships, there can be a lot of variety in terms of what intimacy looks like, and it’s important to embrace that.
In life, and especially in queer relationships, we can become obsessed with labels. However, there's no need to feel pressured to follow any specific script. What matters most is that you and your partner(s) are enjoying yourselves and respecting each other’s boundaries.
Common Myths About Sexual Health Protection for WLW/Sapphic/Vulva-to-Vulva Sex
For those who engage in vulva-to-vulva sex, there are several myths that can impact understanding and practices around sexual health protection. Let’s debunk some common misconceptions to ensure we can enjoy sex with confidence and safety.
1. "STIs Aren’t a Concern in Sapphic/Lesbian Relationships"
Myth: STIs are only a risk in heterosexual relationships.
Reality: STIs can be transmitted in any type of sexual relationship, including sapphic relationships. Infections like herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV), and gonorrhea can be spread through skin-to-skin contact, oral sex, and sharing sex toys. Using protection and getting regular STI screenings are important practices for maintaining sexual health.
2. "You Don’t Need Protection If You’re in a Committed Relationship"
Myth: Being in a committed relationship means STI protection isn’t necessary.
Reality: Even in a committed relationship, it’s important to use protection and get tested regularly. Some STIs can be asymptomatic, meaning you might not have visible symptoms but can still transmit infections. Regular testing helps ensure that both partners are aware of their sexual health status.
3. "Dental Dams Aren’t Necessary for Lesbian/Sapphic Sex"
Myth: Dental dams are only for oral sex and not needed for sapphic sex.
Reality: Dental dams, or similar protective barriers, are recommended for reducing the risk of STI transmission during oral sex and skin-to-skin contact. They help create a barrier between body fluids and skin, making them a valuable tool for safe sexual practices. Newer products like My Lorals offer a more accessible option, providing protection without the fuss of holding square dental dams.
4. "You Can Only Get STIs from Visible Symptoms"
Myth: STIs are only a concern if there are visible sores or symptoms.
Reality: Many STIs can be asymptomatic, meaning they don’t always show visible signs. Regular STI testing is crucial because you can still contract or transmit infections even if you don’t have any noticeable symptoms.
5. "Lubricants Are Not Needed for Lesbian/Sapphic Sex"
Myth: Lubricants are unnecessary if you’re engaging in sapphic sex.
Reality: While sapphic sex is known to be pretty wet due to double the producers, that's not always a guarantee. Some of us don't always produce lots (which is nothing to be ashamed of) or if you are going through the menopause vaginal dryness is common. Lubricants can enhance comfort (especially during long sessions with toys), reduce friction during sexual activities and often increase pleasure - wetter is better! Opt for water-based or silicone-based lubricants that are compatible with latex barriers to ensure safety and enhance pleasure.
