A wet dream is when a person orgasms, ejaculates or leaks vaginal fluid in their sleep. Anyone can have a wet dream, and they usually start during puberty when hormones are at a high, and they can continue to happen indefinitely. Wet dreams are involuntary and are an important part of keeping sex organs healthy.
Most people know about wet dreams, likely they’ve had one themselves but many people don’t know the truth about what they are, who can have them and why they happen.
Myth: Only teenage boys have wet dreams
There’s a common misconception that wet dreams are exclusive to teenage boys whose hormones are out of control, but contrary to this belief anyone can have a wet dream whether you’re 14 or 40, or if you have a penis or a vulva.
It’s true that you may experience your first wet dream during puberty when hormones are all over the shop, but some may have their first when they’re much older. There’s no proven rhyme or reason for when and how a person may experience wet dreams, it’s simply a natural occurrence that happens differently for every person.
Some people are well into adulthood and have never experienced a wet dream, and others may have them regularly.
Myth: Women can’t have wet dreams
Like many sexual developments that happen during puberty many people believe that wet dreams are something that only happen to men, because sex education has for so long been discussed with penis-owners at the helm despite vulva-owners sharing similar experiences.
According to a 1986 study 37% of college age vulva-owners reported to have had at least one orgasm during their sleep, although this may not be the larger percentage it is still a considerable amount of people with vulvas having the same experiences as people with penises.
Myth: Once you become sexually active wet dreams will stop
Many assume that wet dreams in adulthood especially, are signs of sexual frustration, or a symptom of the lack of sex. Despite this seeming like a logical diagnosis it’s simply not true.
No matter whether you’ve never had sex, or you have sex multiple times a week you have the same chance of having a wet dream. They may become less frequent as we age due to hormone levels but can increase again when we are older, especially in people with penises.
So how can I control wet dreams?
To put it simply, you can’t.
Wet dreams are like breathing or blinking in your sleep, they are involuntary and totally normal. They can happen to anyone and yet only happen to some, for unknown reasons some people have them more often.
This means you can’t stop yourself from having them by having sex more frequently or masturbating more, nor can you choose to have them either.
They are an important part of keeping sex organs healthy so there’s no need to be worried about them.
——
Are wet dreams a form of cheating?
Wet dreams are when a person orgasms, ejaculates or leaks vaginal fluid during their sleep, their cause is widely unknown but has been suggested to happen because of accidental stimulation from bedding and pillows. But there are no hard facts that prove this.
Wet dreams are erotic dreams
It’s commonly thought that a wet dream means the person is dreaming of a sexual scenario that is stimulating their sexual organs, which in some cases may be true.
However, this is not the case for all wet dreams, you see people can have wet dreams without dreaming at all, because we’re only more likely to remember a dream if it happens during the last REM (rapid eye movement) stage before we wake up.
What to do if your partner has frequent wet dreams
With the misconceptions and lack of knowledge around wet dreams comes the narrative that they are in some way a sign of something rotting in a relationship.
Some people may class a wet dream as a form of micro-cheating, assuming that their partner is dreaming of having sex with other people, but it’s important to remember that wet dreams are involuntary action that keeps the penis or vulva healthy it’s similar to waking up with a hard-on.
Common triggers for wet dreams can be accidental stimulation from bedding and pillows during sleep, they don’t always mean that you’ve had a hot sex dream.
There is also no need to worry about how satisfied your partner is with your sexual relationship, they could be having the time of their lives and completely sexually satisfied and still have wet dreams. Unfortunately we just can’t pinpoint why they happen, but rest assured that it isn’t because they are not happy in their relationship.
Can I prevent wet dreams?
Unfortunately there is no antidote for wet dreams and it shouldn’t me something we try and stop. However, some people believe that masturbating and avoiding sleeping on your stomach can help to prevent them from happening but there’s no scientific evidence to prove this.
Wet dreams are a completely normal experience for a lot of people whether you have a vulva or penis, or you’re a teen or in your 50’s.
There are many reasons a wet dream can happen such as hormone surges that stimulate sexual organs and increase libido, an excess of semen when it hasn’t been released through ejaculation, or even your body’s way of exploring your sexuality and can be a natural outlet for sexual thoughts and feelings.
You don’t need to worry about wet dreams and their frequency for yourself or your partner, it’s a natural and healthy experience for your body’s sexual organs.
